Friday, January 05, 2007

Vendredi, c'est Mercredi. 

It is not too late to read Meredith. Well, maybe 2007 is a good time to give the girl a break, and I am sure that Marc Sandalow and Carolyn Lochhead would pick up the slack. But then again, I read the article, and it's as bad as 2006 or 2005.

In Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's, Holly Golightly says, "I simply trained myself to like older men, and it was the smartest thing I ever did." I don't think I trained myself to like the holidays, exactly; I think I was predisposed.

It does not make sense, does it? You don't train yourself to like something likeable such as Christmas. You train yourself to like something yucky, like older men for a young woman. Meredith is astonished she likes something that is, well, likeable. She was predisposed! I don't think she trained herself to eat, she was predisposed! She did not have to train herself to like back rubs and hot sex in silky sheets and lobster in melted butter, she was predisposed! Meredith is so special, that what is obvious to anyone, it is a predisposition to her.

The connection between Capote and Meredith is so artificial it's funny. Come to think of it, it's that easy. Just take the first random book, say A Tales of Two Cities, fish a quote, and here you go:

In Dicken's a Tale of Two Cities, Mr. Lorry says "I have done my best for you, Mr. Darnay; and my best is as good as another man's, I believe." I don't think I've done my best to like Christmas, but I like it as good as any other person; I think I was predisposed.

You too can come up with your irrelevant and meaningless Meredith intro. Try it, it's fun. Just grab the first book lying around, and you'll sound just like Meredith, trying too hard to impress with your literary savvy, trying to squeeze it where it does not fit.


In Dickens' "Bleak House", Lady Dedlock retorts to Mr. Jarndyce, with some disdain: "Even you are a courtier, or think it necessary to become one to me? I have achieved that reputation, I suppose."
And so it is with myself, having achieved a reputation as one who adores the holidays.

(do i win some kind of a prize??)
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